Not the Finding, but the Seeking

Scripture Reflection for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time (July 24, 2011)

Scripture Readings:
1 Kings 3:5, 7-12
Psalm 119
Romans 8:28-30
Matthew 13:44-52 or 13:44-46

A hidden treasure. A perfect, shimmering pearl. A net bursting at the seams with fish. In this week’s Gospel Jesus offers these as images of the kingdom of heaven. Of the many parables in Matthew’s Gospel, these stand out as particularly focused on riches and abundance. They give us an idea of how greatly God’s kingdom should be prized, and therefore how fervently we must seek it.

My wife and I just had our first child, a daughter whom we named Eve, on May 31^st. As one would imagine, the last seven weeks have been life-changing and eye opening in many ways. We are very lucky that she is healthy, happy, and growing fast. She is so small and yet so full of life – I thank God for the miracle of her arrival every time I gaze into her wide, wondering eyes. As new parents, my wife and I are working hard, taking things one day at a time, and trying not to injure her in any way that would cause permanent damage! Every day we seem to learn something new about Evie and about ourselves. We are truly blessed in so many ways.

When I think about my experience as a parent in light of the gospel, my first instinct is to think of Evie as the treasure in the field, or the pearl of great price. She is incredibly precious, and I would literally sell all my possessions to protect her, just as Jesus suggests we should do for something of such value. There are moments when I feel like I’ve found a piece of the kingdom here in my life, and I’m ready to praise God and hunker down with my treasure.

Then Evie starts crying and I have to leave for work. We can’t find the pacifier and we forgot the formula. The car is broken and it’s currently 100 degrees outside. Not to mention the fact that Evie is getting bigger and pretty soon she’ll be putting everything in her mouth, and what if she chokes on a chess piece (not that I play chess – but who knows!)? What do we do then? Is our house baby-proofed? All of a sudden the kingdom seems to be out of my grasp; the treasure has been moved without my knowing!

Thus, the experience of becoming a parent has confirmed something that has always been true for me: experiencing the kingdom breaking into my life is not about reaching some final destination or finding an elusive treasure; it’s about authentically searching for God & God’s kingdom each day in the joys, sorrows, and even the mundane moments of life.

For me, then, the critical aspect of the parables is not the treasure, the pearl, or the abundant haul of fish. I find the deepest meaning in the examples of the treasure seeker, the merchant, and the fisherman. Their defining characteristic is not that they get lucky and become rich; it’s that they are, by definition, seekers. Their lives are infused with a desire to pursue that which they value most, and they will devote themselves fully to finding it. Interestingly, Jesus doesn’t seem to care at all about what happens once they do find the object of their search. What does the merchant do with that perfect pearl? What does the treasure seeker do once he owns the land where the treasure is buried? Clearly, that’s not the point. The point is their commitment to the process of continually searching.

This message should be comforting to us; I know it’s comforting to me as a new parent! I’m never going to reach some endpoint where I know every right thing to do for my daughter, when I’ve become the ideal father. On the contrary, my relationship with her will be defined by its constant evolution and change. I will keep seeking God’s grace and the wisdom to be a good father for her, and I know that it will be a process of perpetual growth.

If this never-ending search sounds daunting, or if we get discouraged, there is reason to hope. It’s not the fruits of our search that are most important; it’s our disposition towards looking in the first place. In the first reading, young Solomon has just ascended to the throne of David, but he feels uncertain of himself and doesn’t know if he’s up to the job. He asks God for the gift of understanding so that he might rule wisely. God praises Solomon’s request because he doesn’t ask for something tangible, like riches or a long life; he asks for the quality that will ensure that he seeks God’s kingdom continually. Just like the parables in the gospel, this story implies that it is only by sincerely desiring the kingdom that we are ever able to reach it.

Buried treasure may be hard to find, but the seeker keeps looking. The merchant may never discover the perfect pearl, but it remains in his heart as a goal. King Solomon did not make every decision wisely, but his plea to God was sincere. I will not be a perfect father, but I ask God to guide me in the ever-changing process of raising my daughter, and I cherish the moments in which the kingdom becomes present in my life and in the world. The kingdom is not a static entity that we discover one day and are then content to hoard for ourselves until we die and go to heaven. The kingdom is in the journey, in the seeking, and in the grace of God’s revelation. Let us pray that we continue to seek the Lord with urgency, authenticity, and sincerity.

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