The Kingdom of God Is Like a Marriage

SCRIPTURE REFLECTION FOR THE SECOND SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME (JANUARY 17, 2016)

Scripture Readings:

Throughout the Gospels, we hear Jesus comparing the kingdom of God to tangible things. The kingdom of God is like a mustard seed (Matthew 13:31). The kingdom of God is like yeast (Luke 13:21). The kingdom of God is like a treasure hidden in a field (Matthew 13:44). The kingdom of God is like a merchant seeking fine pearls (Matthew 13:45). Our first reading this weekend tells that the kingdom of God will be like a marriage: “As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you.” Marriages (in theory) are a reflection of the reign of God; they resemble the intimate connection between God and God’s people. I think it not a coincidence that Jesus’ first miracle occurred at a wedding!

Marriages are based on constant and mutual love, support, communication, and more love. Columnist Anthony D’Ambrosio recently wrote an article entitled “5 Reasons Marriage Doesn’t Work Anymore.” Despite the title, I realized that he has discovered five key issues that hinder the kingdom of God from being reflected in many of today’s marriages. Here are three of them to help us discern what a healthy marriage might look like.

First, he proposes that “sex becomes almost non-existent” in marriages today. With the sexualization of media, Hollywood, and the fashion industry, it is difficult for anyone today, let alone young people, to continue to see sexuality as something sacred, to see sexuality not as something to waste on advertising and entertainment but as something to be shared intimately with one person. Our sexuality (which includes but is not limited to the act of sex) is a precious gift to be given and received. To maintain its value, we must make it a personal gift rather than squander it on the millions.

D’Ambrosio gives another reason as to why marriage is so challenging today: finances. Finances have the tendency to “cripple us.” I think most of us can agree that graduating from college and/or graduate school with over $100,000 dollars of debt is a bit daunting. If we are to reject being bogged down by everyday chores and responsibilities and instead rejoice in the kingdom by living out our marriage promises, we need to remember to live life! While paying off our loans, mortgages, cars, insurance, and preparing for retirement are important, we also need to be sure to take time for and love ourselves, each other, and (if you have them) our children! Go out to eat, go bowling, hike, take a camping trip, play a game. Do something occasionally to keep your finances from running (or ruining) your lives!

The columnist writes about another reason why marriage and relationships are challenging these days, and this one rings home for me especially. D’Ambrosio’s third reason for failing relationships is this: “we’re more connected than ever before, but completely disconnected at the same time.” All day long we text, email, snapchat, IM, tweet, and communicate via a host of social media. But do we ever talk to each other face-to-face? What’s more awkward than texting someone in the same room as you with 10 other people present? Of course this leads to gossip, which certainly does not lead to healthy relationships, but it also keeps us from openly communicating with each other! Instead of developing relationships with people, “we’ve developed relationships with things.” How can we have healthy marriages or dating relationships when we avoid talking to each other?

So our challenge today is discerning what makes a healthy relationship, a healthy marriage. For those of us discerning a marriage vocation, we should bear in mind that marriage, like all relationships, is based on a mutual exchange of love, of giving of yourself for your partner and receiving your partner’s sacrifices when they come. Love is a big word. The exchange of love presents itself in a myriad of ways, but in a myriad of everyday ways. It might be planning dinner instead of streaming your favorite show. It might be folding laundry instead of taking the afternoon nap you need, especially if you only slept a few hours last night. It might take the form of watching or entertaining the kids (for yet another hour) while your spouse cooks dinner or cleans the house. Love might be playing a board game instead of spending the night on your phone or watching another movie. Love is making sacrifices for each other and accepting those of another. This mutual exchange of love is the foundation of all communities, communities like the Holy Trinity and the modern family. When we live this exchange in our relationships, especially in marriage, we bring forth the kingdom of God just as foretold by Isaiah and manifested by Jesus at Cana.

Image: Wedding, by Wéi hóng zhū Found on Flickr under a Creative Commons License.