“Our Future is behind Us and Our Past ahead of Us”

Imagine waking up everyone morning to quiet clear skies and comfortably warm weather. You decide to go for a run or a walk, and after just two blocks you find yourself on the banks of the vast and beautiful Lake Michigan; so you sit for a while. This was my reality every morning when I was at the Catholics on Call Conference at CTU in Chicago. I spent my mornings, after a quick jaunt to Starbucks, sitting by the lake, losing my self in my own reflections, thoughts and most of all, prayer.

While in Chicago I was surrounded by young adult men and women whose lives, it seems, everything they do, is propelled by their faith. I felt at home with these new friends almost instantaneously. We still keep in touch weeks after the conference, and I imagine we will for a long time.

As I sat on the bank of Lake Michigan I had plenty to reflect upon and pray with. Our days that week, at CTU, were filled with lectures and discussions on a variety of topics presented by knowledgeable, passionate speakers. Topics such as the Dynamics of Prayer, Spirituality of Call, Religious Life Today and several more, probed my brain, posed thought provoking insights, questions and ideas, which I continue to find myself pondering and praying with.

Father Don Senior taught us to think about the concept “Our future is behind us and our past ahead of us.” He explained that we can’t see what is behind us, but we remember the past for the sake of our future…if we are looking behind us all the time we will lose our bearings. It is the scriptures that help us to remember the past for the sake of our future; we can keep the scriptures in front of us.

Sr. Laurie Brink spoke about Religious life today and began her talk by posing the question “What in God’s Name are you Doing?” and invited us to ask that question honestly in several different ways, taking turns putting the emphasis on each word individually.

There was so much more and I came away with so many notes, thoughts and questions from all of our speakers that I am sure I will be referring to them for years!

But the speakers weren’t all there was to it. We visited two ministry sites that were as equally powerful! Actually, one ministry I experienced, called Deborah’s House, has really given me new insight and perspective to bring to my weekly volunteer work at a local Supper Program. This sort of work, with the homeless and impoverished, has always been one of the hardest aspects of ministry for me. But after talking with two formally homeless women from Deborah’s House, hearing the hope that they were given and how they were sustained, just by being loved by Sister Pat Crowley and the other volunteers at Deborah’s House, gave me a new take on what I could do for the people that come to our supper program. Before hearing these two women talk so openly and honestly about their story, I never felt like anything I did for homeless or impoverished people in my own city was ever enough. Now, I bring a different outlook and a new energy to my work at our Supper Program.

I really appreciated the chance to have theological reflection with my small group twice during the week, to kind of sort out and discuss where and in what ways we have met God, how we are each personally being moved and challenged by our experiences during the week.

All of this coupled with lively morning prayer services or mass, a Taize Prayer experience, time for adoration and the social time at the end of each evening, where we played games, laughed, talked, celebrated and just got to know everyone better, made for a perfect week.

I am still, a month later, reeling from and being propelled by the new energy I gained during this week at Catholics On Call. My discernment of religious life has gone even deeper and I have gained even more energy and passion about creating opportunities and working with young adults in my own parish and neighborhood. Most of all, I have gained an understanding to ask everyday, in everything I do, “Whose Am I?”, and in asking, I am driven even deeper to a life serving my Lord, the Lord that lives in everyone I meet and everything I do.

I encourage and invite everyone who feels they are driven by serving God, energized by sharing faith and life with their peers, and feel challenged by the invitation to go deeper, to consider Catholics on Call at CTU in Chicago. This is an experience I will be drawing from for years to come.

By Amanda Rayburn

Amanda Rayburn participated in the
Catholics On Call Young Adults Conference in August 2007. She is
discerning with the Sisters of Mercy and lives at McAuley House, an
intentional community made up of young adult women and two Sisters of
Mercy.