Deus Caritas Est: Dispelling Hollywood's Caricature of Catholic Love

A Reflection on the Encyclical of Benedict XVI:
Deus Caritas Est

You have seen them on many television shows and in a host of movies. I call them “The Hollywood Priest” and “The Hollywood Nun.” Though there are sometimes nuanced differences in the way they are presented, they tend to be rather predictable caricatures. Across TV shows and movies, there are at least three common features of these church characters. They are: (1) befuddled; (2) out of touch with the real world; and
(3) repressed. Most often it seems that Hollywood religious characters, especially if they are Catholic, are presented as befuddled folks lacking in social skills and generally clumsy in their relations with others. They live in “another world” – out of touch with what is really going on in society and in the hearts of real people. And usually they are people who have repressed their emotions, particularly any feelings that arise from their sexuality. They are dispassionate, even puritanical, individuals.

These television and movie characters are emblematic of what Hollywood thinks is represented by the Catholic Church. Many people in our society seem to have the same opinion about the Church. In all honesty, the Church has at times given people good reason to think this way. It has failed to communicate its empathy with the real concerns of people struggling to understand and grow in relationships. And its talk about human love and sexuality has been negative and defensive, lacking in recognition of the gifts that they are.

In his first encyclical, Pope Benedict XVI makes a concerted effort to offer a more balanced and positive view of love. In a striking statement, he admits that many have felt that the Church “blows the whistle” just when people begin to experience the joy of love which is the gift of our Creator (n. 3). But, in poetic and compelling reflections, the pope tries to show that this negative, repressive view of human love is not the true teaching of the Church. It is clearly not the way the Scriptures speak to us about love.

In classical thought, three different “kinds” of love have been distinguished, each denoted by a different Greek term. The pope speaks of each of these in his letter. Eros, a term which occurs rarely in the Bible, is a love motivated by desire and attraction. It is a love that seeks union with the other in order to discover self-fulfillment. Eros is marked by passion. This love was celebrated by Greek and Latin poets and philosophers. Philia, a term used in the Gospel of John to speak of the relationship between Jesus and his disciples, refers to friendship love. It is a love characterized by mutuality. Agape, the term for love used most frequently in the New Testament, refers to self-giving love, a benevolent love focused on the well-being of the other person. Agape is a love that moves one to sacrifice for the other. The Christian Scriptures extol Christ as the fullness of agape in the love he manifested to the very end, even to death on a cross.

In the first part of Deus Caritas Est, Benedict XVI focuses his reflections on the relationship between eros and agape. He recognizes that at times these two expressions of love have been presented as antithetical. Eros was seen as a non-Christian, “pagan” form of love; agape was envisioned as the only genuinely Christian expression of love. The pope, however, teaches us that these are really two dimensions of the single reality of love (n. 8). The love that is desire is a deeply human love that attracts people to one another and unites them. It leads to that sexual union where a man and a woman delight in one another and give themselves to one another in permanently committed love. In the pope’s words, it is a dimension of “the vital relations fundamental to human existence” (n. 7). It is true that erotic love can be reduced to pure sex in a way that demeans people, turning them into mere objects of desire and of temporary “use” for one another. The current phenomenon of “hooking up” that is so prevalent in our society is an example of this exploitative expression of human love. Benedict comments that in such practices human love is reduced to a biological function and is no longer a vital expression of one’s whole being. Still, eros is an essential part of being human that moves a person to draw close to the other. It even impels us to draw near to God. Many of the great spiritual writers in the Church’s tradition, particularly the mystics, have spoken of their desire for union with God in erotic language. This deep eros for God has led countless men and women to seek union with the One whose love for us is inexhaustible.

Benedict XVI presents a Christian view of love that integrates eros and agape. As he puts it, “Fundamentally, ‘love’ is a single reality, but with different dimensions; at different times, one or other dimension may emerge more clearly” (n. 8). Passionate love moves one to seek the other, but it matures and becomes perfect as it strives to be faithfully present for the other. As the pope affirms, erotic love matures as agape enters into it. In order to become whole people, healed and transformed by God’s grace, we need to integrate both of these expressions of love into our lives and relationships.

In reflecting on the words of the pope, I was reminded of married and single people whom I have met in my years as a priest. Many of these people have taught me the meaning of human love. Several married couples who are good friends of mine have shown me the way in which their passionate desire for one another, expressed in romantic attraction and sexual union, has matured into a love that is also characterized by tenacious fidelity and a willingness to sacrifice for one another. And I have been blessed to know single people, including many who are committed to chaste celibacy, who are able to integrate their desire for God and their attraction to others with a self-giving love that is appropriate to their state of life. In the end, it is other people who teach us how to love. And I have been blessed with some good teachers.

In the second part of Deus Caritas Est, the pope offers a subtle presentation of the Church’s charitable work and of the relationship between these efforts and the quest for social justice. He addresses the sensitive topic of the relationship between Church and State. This part of the encyclical will undoubtedly evoke ongoing discussion and debate among theologians and other scholars. Nevertheless, in his teaching on eros and agape in the first part of his encyclical, Benedict XVI has painted an exquisite portrait of love seen from a Christian perspective. He shows that the true teaching of the Church is not that caricatured by Hollywood: a doctrine totally out of touch with the desires and concerns of real people, puritanical in its approach to human relationships. Rather, Catholic Christians are called to celebrate the capacity to love that constitutes our humanity, a humanity created in the image of the Triune God. This God who is Trinity is a God who in his very self is a communion of love, a circle of giving and receiving. Using the language of the Scriptures, the pope describes this God as a God who is passionate in his love for us. The God of Jesus Christ is a God whose eros for humanity is also totally agape (n. 10). God has created us and redeemed us in Christ in order that we may become whole people – people able to integrate our God-given passions and desires into a love that moves us to give ourselves generously and faithfully to God and to other people.

Robin Ryan, CP